On the 25th December 2011, due to a huge rain and hail storm, our home was flooded throughout. Consequently business activities were reduced to doing the bare minimum to keep things ticking over, and most of my energy was directed to my domestic management. I tell people about the events, as it was certainly memorable. However, I never intend for them to feel sorry for me. I share with the purpose of sharing a story and connecting with another human being. I always follow with the benefit or outcome though. I share the up side. In this case I get new carpets throughout my house (it took three months) and compared to other people our damage was minimal. I want the conversation to ultimately be a positive experience for both of us. Another up-side is that I have had a chance to focus on post-disaster (personal presentation) recovery strategies. Which I will share at another time.
Often people can struggle with what to talk about with someone they have just met. It is a common challenge for those new to business networking. Having a few strategies can help. One of mine is thinking F.O.P.A.R. (memorable because we don’t want to make a ‘faux pas’ (meaning social or cultural error in manners).
Try this for engaging in gracious conversations:
F – Future. Tell people what you are doing now and planning to achieve in the future. This is far more exciting than telling people what you have done. That may appear as boasting.
O – Others. Be diplomatic and gracious with what you say of others. Avoid derogatory comments and gossip about others. People are more likely to then trust you with their stories if you demonstrate you can be respectful of others behind their backs.
P – Purpose. Talk about your purpose or role as part of a bigger plan. Rather than just telling people who you are and what you do. Tell people what you are a part of, and the purpose of your activity. Examples of how you have made a difference and who you serve can be more engaging than what tasks you perform.
A – Ask. Asking questions of others is the best way to find some common ground and potentially a topic you both relate to. In addition it shows you are interested in them. If you are listening more than you are talking, that is a good sign.
R – Restrictions. Restrict conversations on topics such as religious opinions, political preferences, and sexuality until you know each other better and have a stronger association. It is worthwhile following the media news for some potential topics – community interest, sport, international or national events, local weather (if necessary), family activities. Think FOPAR next time you feel nervous or get stuck and others will see you as a confidence conversationalist.
Let me know if this is helpful, or if you have any comments?
