Etiquette Tips for Face to Face Meetings
(Article published in Issue 13 of the Australian Business Solutions magazine. August 2010.)
Author: Nicola Barnard
Etiquette, or manners, is one of the few things in our lives with which we are in control. It elevates us from animal to master of our own behaviour. Good manners will always be an asset to your image, and may even be your insurance policy against discrimination or ridicule. Etiquette fascilitates trust between strangers and minimises offence. Don’t be afraid to ask someone with experience of a particular occasion for etiquette advice. It is a sign of maturity and responsibility, not ignorance. Much of the traditional etiquette rules are no longer taught at school or in the home. Also, in today’s more relaxed culture, some of the rules are bent at times. However, if you are prepared to follow the rules, you will give people the impression that you are respectful of them and their time.
Here are some general etiquette rules people need to know: for networking and dining.
WHO PAYS:
Whomever organises and invites to a restaurant, is the host. The host pays unless the guest insists on contributing. If you agree to split the bill, do it equally and quickly. The objective of a communal meal is to promote abundance and sharing. Haggling over who ate more and itemising things is vulgar and is associated with scarcity, not abundance. Generosity generally balances out over time. In Australia the convention is to add a 5-10% Tip if the food and service was good. Other countries have differing conventions. When you are ready to pay, be discreet. If you are hosting, you may wish to pay up front or give the waiter of a trusted establishment your card details at the start. Alternatively, if appropriate, excuse yourself from the table at the end of the meal and go pay at the register. Don’t leave your guest alone at the table though. If the bill comes to the table pay discreetly without revealing the amount to the guests.
If you are inviting someone to an individually paid networking event as your guest, be clear if you expect them to pay for themselves. This saves any later embarrassment.
ORDER OF INTRODUCTIONS:
Traditional conventions of introductions are that Gentlemen are introduced to ladies, junior colleagues are introduced to senior colleagues, a person of lesser rank is introduced to a person of greater rank. For example, “Mr Smith, I would like to introduce you to Lady Barnard”. When in doubt use the title and surname. The person can always respond with a request to call them by there first name if they choose. You can ask someone before introducing them how they would prefer to be introduced on this occasion. For example, a married woman may practice professionally under her maiden name or a titled person may wish to downplay their rank at an informal gathering.
When inviting a number of guests to dinner it is a good idea to let them know who the other guests will be beforehand in case they want to do some homework, or at the very least as they arrive.
The host is responsible for introducing all guests to each other. If the group is large, the host should endeavour to introduce a new guest to at least one other guest before leaving them to welcome others. If the occasion is large and the host is kept by the door greeting new guests, it is appropriate to introduce yourself to others. The etiquette of introductions is to be respectful and to help people start conversations.
Once you know the conventions, you can then understand when it is appropriate to follow them and when not to. When in doubt, start formal. You will never be penalised for having good manners.
